Imposter Shmoster
Have you ever felt like you’d not good enough at something, and that people are going to see through you and realise you don’t have that much to offer? That you’re ‘all talk and no action?’
If you’re like me, this has been an issue and for a while I thought it was just my thing. Until I realised, I’m not alone and in fact, this is such a thing it even has a name. It’s called The Imposter Syndrome.
I first heard about it through Mel Robbins, American Author and Motivational Speaker. Her book ‘The 5 Second Rule’ is an amazing read that I discovered a few years ago. Mel says that recognising this pattern of self-doubt as a habit is the first step, and even though these feelings of self-doubt are real, they shouldn’t dictate to you what you do. The trick is to separate your feelings from your actions and do it anyway. And keep doing it until you break the pattern or become more comfortable with forging ahead each time.
For me, Imposter Syndrome started creeping in when I entered the workforce again after having a break for a couple of years to have my babies. Becoming a mom put my career into somewhat of a free-fall and with that went my mojo. For years I worked in corporate, chasing intense sales targets, presenting to CEOs and boards of directors, closing contracts and travelling so much I was on a first name basis with air hostesses on our national carrier. I found something that I was good at, and boy did I love it. But becoming a mom made me realise I didn’t have enough ‘pounds of flesh’ to give to carry on with my career. I went from strutting corporate corridors in my suits and heels … to jeans, a t-shirt and flats … sterilising bottles.
So yes, getting back into work mode and figuring out where my lane is, has been an interesting journey. Thoughts of failure gripped me – and oftentimes still do. What if I embarrass the hell out of myself? What will other people think, or worse, say? What if what I have to offer isn’t enough? Can you imagine the whole of LinkedIn thinking ‘what a twit’ for a simple post?
Wouldn’t it be incredibly liberating not to give a continental about what other people think?
Sarah Blakely – founder of Spanx who turned her $5,000 savings into a billion-dollar fortune - talks about how her Dad would encourage her to fail, and how every night at dinner during her childhood, her father would asked her ‘so what did you fail at today?’ She didn’t realise it at the time, but he was changing her definition of failure. “My definition of failure became not about the outcome, but about not trying.” This opened her up to trying so many things because she wasn’t worried about failing … or ... what other people thought about her.
What’s been clear to me exploring these topics of rejection and failure, is that the sooner we get used to the feeling and disregard it, the better off we’ll be. Easier said than done, I know, which is why I was inspired watching Jia Jiang’s Ted Talk ‘What I learnt from 100 days of rejection’. He tells his story of how he turned his biggest fear of rejection into a challenge, placing himself in situations of rejection for 100 days.
Not only did he become bullet proof for rejection, he also learnt some incredible lessons along the way.
So. Dig deep. Own your journey. Make mistakes. Add value to the world. Know your worth.
And ... be authentically YOU.
Wendy x
